Born With A Beard
(Michael Granda)
The Springfield Chronicles, 1997
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Lyrics
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when I was as boy, I knew I was a gonner
'cause I never did want to go through all the trouble
and I knew in case I tried, the scoop would be discovered
from a face that was made - howdy duty double
I always look a little bit weird
because I was born with a beard
my hair is kinda long, I'm really kinda stupid
an' my nose is kinda big, I keep it kinda crooked
down around my belt, I'm gettin' kinda dumpy
and it doesn't take a lot to get me kinda grumpy
I always look a little bit weird
because I was born with a beard
if you want a dude who will admit it
you look at me, forget it
you want a drink with lots of class
well I'm just beerin' your champagne glass
(GUITAR SOLO)
(HARP SOLO)
you want a dude who will admit it
your lookin' at me, forget it
you want a drink with lots of class
well I'm just beerin' your champagne glass
I want to be a champ like Rocky Marciano
but I'll always be a junk like Captain Lou Albano
and I wanna have a band as smooth as Guy Lomabardo
but I'll always be as goofy as Ricky Ricardo
I always look a little bit weird
because I was born with a beard
I always look a little bit weird
because I was born with a beard
I always look a little bit weird
I was born with this beard
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Copyright 1997, Michael Granda
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Created 22 January 2003
Updated 12 September 2025